Bare facts

[mastime]

Author: Hemal Ashar Date: 08 Dec 2007
Why a six-pack does not mean six beer cans instead of Shah Rukh Khan’s stomach

This columnist is wondering...

Whether a parachute jumper who jumps out of an airplane on Sunday, might get a shock of his life, as even parachutes stay closed on Sundays…

Why a six-pack does not mean six beer cans instead of Shah Rukh Khan’s stomach?

Whether a vada pav that talks in a phoren accent and pretends to be hoity-toity is just a ham-shamburger…

Whether all the characters on advertising hoardings in Mumbai spring to life at night and prowl the streets, the Amul girl eats butter, the Raymonds man preens in a new suit, and Juhi Chawla eats Kurkure…

Whether the fork dates a fashion plate and the spoon goes out with a swish dish…

Whether for a guitar it is not mum but strum’s the word…

Why Soha Ali Khan does not endorse a brand of poha so that the catchline can be — Soha loves Poha?

Whether Mumbaikars will soon have garage loans, like home loans, given the astronomical rates for car parking these days…

Whether our city’s beggars will ask us for tips on the stock market instead of money one of these days…

Whether Abhishek Bachchan was jealous of the horses watching his wife Aishwarya Rai at the racecourse on Thursday for they are the real studs after all…

Whether Greg Chappell and Sourav Ganguly will share the Nobel peace prize one of these days…

Whether a stapler is always on a staple diet…

Whether the BCCI-Dilip Vengsarkar battle gives a new twist to the phrase — ‘The pen is mightier than the Sword’, to ‘the Pen is mightier than the Board’...

Will cell phone covers too come in ribbed, dotted or plain like those condom ads, and a steamy Pooja Bedi model them saying, Just ask for SMS (instead of KS for the Kama Sutra condoms brand)?

Whether a Salsa bottle has no option but to do the Salsa dance…

Whether the city’s social butterflies will enter parties with yoga mats tucked under their arms as a yoga mat, not designer bags, becomes the ultimate fashion accessory these days…

Why you can eat a hot dog but can never eat a cool cat?

Whether a chess player might get arrested for indulging in pawn-o-graphy…

Whether a CD with a backache can be diagnosed as suffering from a slipped disc…

Whether optometrists realise that guys may not make passes at gals who wear glasses but it all depends on the frame…