Never try to outsmart a woman!

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There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his
money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he
died, he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my
money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the
afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he
died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he
died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there
in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished
the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to cl ose the
casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her;
she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the
undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. So her
friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that
money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen,
I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was
going to put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell
me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?
"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my
account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."


Women Are Smarter Than Men

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles
decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar,
he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an
ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two,
my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman
went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother!

Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how
you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


Wife Vs Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Stupid And Beautiful

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted
to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

The Beast

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring
out the beast in me." So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a
mouse?"



Coffee

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get
up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I
can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the
New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
indeed says.... "HEBREWS"